Module 4, Lesson 1 – and it’s about PERMISSION! My favorite (or one of them at least) thing in Unstoppable U™! Because it’s something I see women not getting nearly enough of, not in their work, their family lives, their own interests and loves…we just do not feel we have permission to do (or not do) so much of what we want and/or need to do.
The Permission Slip in Module 4, Lesson 1’s Materials section is so simple but so powerful. There are a couple of reasons for this: first, it’s a visual that I can have in view all around me, all day (why, that’s a reminder without effort, isn’t it!). Second, because I write my specific permissions down on the Permission Slip I get the remarkable benefit we always get from writing something down by hand. It’s been shown in multiple studies that information we write by hand (versus typing on a device) is processed entirely differently by our brain, and in some really important ways. In order not to go into too much detail in this post let me just say that what we write by hand is stored in and recovered from our brains much more effectively and for longer. It becomes part of our wiring in a very powerful way and this is another huge benefit of the Permission Slip.
And the Permission Slip’s third gift is that we can be as silly, off-the-wall, unlike “us” or anything else we feel like and it’s completely okay. I have given myself permission, over the last week, to not have all the answers right now, to change my mind, and to get it wrong. But I’ve also granted permission to wear makeup even though I’m not going anywhere (I don’t usually wear much so it feels very weird to do it for NO REASON – gasp!). I’ve filled out a Permission Slip to let me feel just fine about having chocolate during the day (I am a sugar-loving person and so it almost always feels “bad” to have chocolate). And I’ve given myself permission to leave the dishes for tomorrow – that is a HUGE one for me! But once I’ve written it down and see it, in my own handwriting, on the Permission Slip posted here and there, it becomes real. It’s a kind of alchemy and it is magic.
Women are taught from a very early age to be responsible for just about everything – our own actions but also the feelings and even the behavior of others, whether things run smoothly or not, and making sure everyone else is okay before checking in on ourselves. It’s such a long-standing belief that it feels hard-wired, part of female DNA. But know this: YOU get to decide. YOU get to check in with yourself and make choices that are good for you – even when someone else doesn’t get everything they want as a result. Permission is YOURS to grant yourself and you don’t need to wait for anyone else to give it.
So maybe remind yourself – post it where you can see it – that you giving yourself permission to do, be, and have what you need and want makes the world a better place. All the work you’ve done to create your Aspiration and the plan to realize it depend on you taking responsibility for protecting that precious jewel that is YOU. You don’t have to do the dishes today or get that mission statement right the first time or even HAVE a mission statement yet. You get to decide, and the rest of us can’t wait to see what you create as a result.